Unexpected
by Cain the Silver Sin
Summary: Life is a series of firsts. In which Jesse McCree is taken completely off-guard the first time he hears Hanzo Shimada laugh and of course he is immediately smitten. Little does he know, that he is not the only one.
1. Nightmares & Laughter

It wasn't exactly like they were friends. Colleagues yes, but friends? Nah. Genji was a friend. Fareeha as well. Maybe even Lena. And heck, he could actually ask both Lúcio and Hana if they wanted to go out for a beer or two and they'd have a great time together. Come to think of it, most of the members of Overwatch made for great company.

All, except for one Hanzo Shimada.

It wasn't that they didn't get along. They got along just fine. They made one hell of a team on the battlefield and Jesse was 100% sure Hanzo had saved his ass more than once. He respected Hanzo, and felt respected in return. But the other man was all silent and stoic (save for a few angry outbursts here and there), the complete opposite of Jesse himself. Hanzo never talked about himself or his past. He had mentioned Genji a few times and the Shimada Empire, but only with lament and somberness. During downtime at the watchpoint Jesse would usually spot him at the archery range which laid side by side with the gun range. Other than that he had no idea where Hanzo spent his spare time. He had seen him with Genji once or twice in the hallway of their HQ, but never with anyone else. In conclusion; the man was an enigma and he wanted to be left alone.  
That was precisely why Jesse had been more than a little bit surprised when Hanzo had suggested they go out for some chow mein and sake after their long ass two man mission in Lijiang. The clock was nearing 01:00 in the morning and Jesse was more than ready to hit the sack, but he just couldn't say no to this close to mythical proposal he was presented with. So he excused himself to his room, splashed some cold water in his face to wake up and went with Hanzo to a nice and cosy little food place.  
They had eaten in silence. Jesse had for once found that comfortable, just something about the particular ambience of it all. The sake they had after was warm with a mild taste, and Jesse felt his shoulders gradually relax as warmth settled pleasantly in his stomach. He lit his cigar and leaned back in his chair, listening to the gentle drizzle of the rain outside. He was about to say something unimportant, something about the mission just to make casual conversation when Hanzo spoke first.

"I have troubles sleeping."

Jesse actually held his breath. Hanzo had started a conversation. He felt silly for thinking so, but he really didn't want to mess this up so he said nothing, just waited with bated breath.  
Hanzo's face was unreadable and as the seconds ticked by, Jesse felt a stone drop in his stomach. He must have made the wrong choice by shutting up, he should have said something, he should have-

"McCree-san, do you ever see the faces of those you have killed in your dreams?"

Jesse froze as Hanzo turned to look at him, expression calm and dark eyes soft. The moment felt oh so important, Hanzo had opened up about something about himself and truth to be told, Jesse did know what it felt like having past murders come back to haunt you. He took a long drag from his cigar, letting the smoke seep slowly out of the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah, I do." he drawls. Another drag from his cigar, Hanzo is watching him with rapt attention.

"Deadlock was not a kind place, obviously, the things I've done I-" he surprises himself with actually stalling. Deadlock was a lifetime ago, yet some things are as fresh as if they were only days old. He sighs.

"They say time dulls your memories, your feelings, but truth is they rarely do with things like these. Either that or we're just hella special."

He takes a sip from his sakazuki, lowkey watching Hanzo from underneath lowered lids. The archer is gazing into his own sake, as if it holds the answers to his thoughts. His brows crease and he looks like he's suddenly in deep contemplation.

"I can't brag of having a 100% working solution for you-" Jesse adds almost like an afterthought.

"-you're going to have sleepless nights and you're going to struggle with a whole spectrum of difficult emotions but-"

"-know that you're not alone."

Jesse swears he can see a look of shock pass over Hanzo's features, but it's gone just as fast as it came and he coughs politely.

"Dang, I'm sorry. I guess I talk too much. Jus' want you to know you can depend on me- on us all- as a team. There's no shame in that."

Hanzo gives him a weak nod but doesn't otherwise reply. Silence stretches on between them again as they finish their first cups of sake at a leisurely pace. Jesse pours them another one, and they clink their cups gently together, Jesse offering Hanzo a toothy grin. Two cups turn to three, then four, then five, soon they have gone through two and a half bottles between them and while alcohol does make McCree even more chatty, Hanzo doesn't seem to mind at all. His posture is more relaxed and his face is not set in the usual stern lines. His chin is propped up on his hand and he watches McCree as the gunslinger animatedly talks.

"-and then Reinhardt tells Lúcio to listen to the _classics_ , like _Hasselhoff!_ That is music, that was on top of the charts, _30 years before Reinhardt himself was born._ The guy is sixty-something! Lúcio of course, along with Hana, scrounges his nose up something fierce and shouts ' _aaaw hell naw man!'_. I tell you it's the funniest shit watching that age gap group bicker!"

It's not that it was that funny in Hanzo's ears, but the alcohol and the way McCree animatedly retells the story, and tries to ape after Lúcio's voice and manner of speech that makes it funny. He can't help the hearty laughter that escapes his lips. It feels a little foreign, cause he hasn't truly and honestly laughed in a long while. He swirls his sakazuki gently, chuckling softly as McCree goes silent beside him. The gunslinger's cheeks are painted with red and he is giving him a weird look. The corners of Hanzo's lips tug upwards.

"What?" he questions with mild surprise, not really aware of how his own cheeks are dusted with pink. McCree must be drunk out of his mind by now. The question seems to finally sink in after a few long seconds and McCree coughs, his hat obscuring his eyes as he turns slightly away.

"Aah it's nothing. Jeez, I am getting mighty tired. I was ready for bed the moment we came back to be honest. But this has been really great though!" he rambles, finally looking at Hanzo again, the weird look in his eyes still lingering faintly.

"Yes, I suspected as much. We do have a long flight ahead of us tomorrow, some rest would do us good."

They pay for their food and sake, before stopping instantaneously by the door. The gentle drizzle from earlier is now full blown rain and Hanzo grimaces before uttering a low ' _fuck'_.  
There's no conveniently open stores in sight and no one has accidentally left their umbrella in the restaurant either. McCree laughs quietly beside him and earns himself a questioning glance. Grinning, the cowboy pulls off his serape and holds it over his head while extending a part of it to Hanzo.

"Better than nothing!" he shrugs smiling.

Hanzo almost refuses to take it. Two grown men running together through the streets underneath a shared piece of cloth would look nothing short of ridiculous. But it is in the middle of the night, it is raining and they are kinda drunk. He reluctantly takes the end piece McCree is offering him and with the exchange of quick nods they run. In a far corner in the back of his mind, Hanzo thinks it's actually kinda nice even if it's also totally ridiculous.  
The hotel isn't that far, but it's far enough for them to inevitably get wet, courtesy of McCree's serape becoming heavy with rainwater.

"Well damn." is all the gunslinger can say when they finally reach their rooms after trying to dodge the night clerk's sour glare following them as McCree's serape drips water steadily all over the floors.

"Can't believe we did that." Hanzo laughs softly, shaking his head causing small droplets of water to fly out from his disheveled hair. He pulls the silk cloth holding his hair up loose, letting it all fall down before running a hand through it. McCree is looking weirdly at him again and he pauses.

"Thank you for your company tonight. It was most appreciated." he says honestly.

"...No worries, partner. Uhm, you have a good night." McCree rumbles, a small smile gracing his lips. Hanzo nods at him in return before disappearing into his room.

Boots clatter softly to the floor, a hat is tossed haphazardly on a bed, clothes are draped over a chair, a table, any hangable surface to dry before finally a serape is thrown over the shower curtain bars.  
Jesse takes a second to revel in the warmth seeping into his bones before he washes up quickly and throws himself on his bed, hair still wet. The sleepiness tugging on his mind from earlier is gone and he lays on his back, staring holes in the ceiling as the evening with Hanzo replays in his mind.  
The image and accompanying sound of Hanzo laughing, his cheeks flushed pink and demeanor so relaxed, plays over and over, and _over_. When he has finally willed it away and thinks he is going to get some sleep, it only gets replaced with the too pretty for words picture of Hanzo yanking his hair tie loose and letting all that inky darkness spill down over his shoulders, one hand dragging through it, maybe one day that hand could be his-

"Fuck…" Jesse utters softly, rubbing at his own face as the realization settles in.

 _Hanzo Shimada is actually a very, very gorgeous man._

What now?


	2. Breakfast in the sun

It must have been because of the influence of the alcohol.

A cloudy mind is easily amused and thoughts can derail to places they usually don't go sober. Nevermind Jesse actually having a thing for killer smiles and genuine laughter. The sake was to blame here, or at least that is what Jesse keeps telling himself as he lays in bed, glaring at the clock shining its offensive red numbers in his face. The sake could 100% be blamed for the dull throbbing in the back of his head though.  
They had thankfully been allowed to sleep in. Timezones working in their favour for once. Lena wasn't due for an hour and a half still to pick them up, but if they wanted breakfast before their long ass trip back to the watchpoint they'd better get a move on. He slips back into his dried clothes from yesterday and opts for a quick brushing of his teeth and trimming of his beard with the complementary toiletries in the bathroom.  
He combs his fingers through his hair (why weren't there any proper combs there?) and perches his hat on top, ignoring the peculiar feeling of uncertainty lightly tripping at the edges of his mind.  
He goes through his mental checklist, throws his travel bag over his shoulder and brushes his hand lightly over Peacekeeper as an assurance she's still there. All good. Right, time to go find Hanzo and ask him if he wants to get breakfast. In a non-suspicious, totally friendly way. Nothing has changed, everything's the same. They just possess a few more facts about each other than before. All normal.  
Jesse fastens his boots and opens the door, only to be greeted with Hanzo himself standing there, poised to knock, carrying two paper bags with fancy Chinese writing on them. Jesse's aware he's staring, but luckily he's a quick thinker and gathers his wits before it becomes too awkward.

"Oh hey, you're already up? Was thinkin' to go get you and ask if you wanted something to eat before Tracer picks us up?" Smooth.

"Yes. I have been up for two hours already. I found a nice spot for my morning meditation and then I thought I'd bring you breakfast-"

"-as a thank you, for listening to my troubles last night." The last part is added hastily and Hanzo hopes McCree doesn't notice his slight delay. The cowboy gives no indication of having picked up on it and he mentally sighs. It is only honorable to repay someone for their time after all.

"That's mighty nice of you!" McCree beams, giving him that friendly grin, topped with squinty eyes. Hanzo's stomach does a weird flip that he petulantly ignores. "So you wanna uh, eat inside or..?"

"There's a really nice garden area with benches outside if you want to join me? The rain from last night has let up so…"

"Sure thing. Show the way, darlin'!"

The garden area _is_ really nice. A little, green lung in an otherwise urban and bustling city. There's Dove Trees encompassing the area, colourful flowers and various shrubs, and a fountain set roughly in the middle. They seat themselves at one of the tabled benches there and Jesse takes a moment to just close his eyes and breathe. This is really nice. Clean air, warm sunlight, and the food Hanzo has begun unpacking for them smells really good!  
There's tea, of course there is tea. Jesse recognizes the smell of Jasmine tea any day. He spots something that looks like porridge, _congee_ was it? Steamed buns (with pork filling Hanzo informs him), egg pancakes and tofu pudding with ginger and syrup. " _Somebody's got a sweet tooth!"_ Jesse teases lightly, and is in no way prepared for the shy smile and low " _Shut up."_ Hanzo throws back at him. If the sunlight hadn't warmed him up enough already, that surely did the trick.  
They eat in companionable silence, occasionally throwing some crumbs to a few birds scampering nearby.

"That is a Fork-Tailed Sunbird." Hanzo says and points at a tiny bird with metallic-blue head and crimson breast. The bird chirps loudly, apparently very pleased with their offerings. Jesse smiles. A nifty little tidbit.

Their breakfast feels endless and too short at the same time. The sun has risen even higher in the sky in the mere hour they've been sitting there and Jesse is thankful he stuffed his serape into his travel bag instead of wearing it. Looks like the people of Lijiang is in for a rather hot day. He unbuttons the three topmost buttons of his shirt before reluctantly finishing his tea and the last of his tofu pudding. He could go for something cold right about now. Preferably a beer. Hanzo looks cool and composed as usual as he collects their trash and throws it into a nearby bin. Too bad he didn't look seconds earlier, or then he would have caught a mildly flustered archer scurrying to occupy himself with anything else but staring at him.

"Tracer should be here any minute, I'll need to go get my things." Hanzo informs him and leaves with a nod. Jesse kicks back and lights a cigar, only to look guiltily around for a non-smoking sign seconds after. Not seeing any signs (or people for that matter), he leans back and blows lazy wisps of smoke towards the sky.

" _Damnit, Hanzo, get your shit together."_ Hanzo leans against the sink in his room, scowling weakly at his reflection. Droplets of cold water still lingers on his face and he rubs them away with his hand. Frustration bubbles in the pit of his stomach. Was he a teenager again? No he wasn't. So why was he getting so flustered watching his work colleague open up a few buttons on his shirt!? His colleague whom he had been having a very neutral relationship with up until last evening. It had been nice, opening up to someone like that. He had been very reluctant with letting anyone get close to him since he joined Overwatch. Always keeping a respectably sized personal bubble and interacting minimally with the other members. But loneliness took its toll, and he couldn't rely solely on Genji for company for the rest of his life. But he wasn't so starved for attention he'd get this worked up over perfectly normal interaction with someone, was he?  
He pinches the bridge of his nose as old memories and traces of forgotten shame bubbles to the surface. Who was he kidding? Jesse McCree was a very attractive man, and not only that, he was smart and witty and _reliable_. All things Hanzo already knew way before their first proper interaction. Maybe it had been a mistake, trying to socialize, especially with someone he secretly admired. Kids these days called it a ' _crush'._ Hanzo was 38, he was way too old for having a ' _crush'_ on someone.  
He steels himself and breathes slowly, focusing his thoughts on a tranquil forest, serene waterfalls, koi ponds, anything zen and filled with positive energy. Slip-ups happen he tries to remind himself, slip-ups happen, to everyone. He picks up his bag (already packed before dawn) and bowcase, and checks out by the hotel counter. His phone buzzes and a message from McCree ticks in. ' _Went ahead, Tracer's already here :) I'll pacify her with Mooncakes til you can get here!'_  
He chuckles audibly at the message before rapidly composing himself, all too wary of the weird looks coming his way.

McCree had been successful in his mission it would seem. Tracer was in a chirpy mood when Hanzo climbed aboard their vehicle, munching on a Mooncake as she greeted him. To be fair, she was in a good mood most of the time, one of the few things that would get her down and angry were people (and herself) being late.  
' _Thank you.'_ he mouths in McCree's direction and the gunslinger gives him a discreet thumbs up and a smile before returning to his book. Tracer heads back to the cockpit and gets them up in the air. When their seatbelts unlock again Hanzo goes to work on his bow. Checking for damage, testing the bowstring, giving her a polish, anything to pass the time. He could probably do this blind and even if he takes his time to do it very neatly, he's done way too fast, left with nothing to do but listen to the engine hum. He sneaks a glance at McCree. The gunslinger is draped across several pulled down seats, one leg bent up with metallic fingers drumming on his knee, and he looks way engrossed in his book, and even if Hanzo fights his curiosity with every fibre of his being, he still loses.

"What are you reading?" The words spill out before he can think any further upon them. McCree looks up at him and grins.

"Ya wanna guess?" he says, voice teasing. Hanzo snorts.

"Cowboy literature?" he offers drily.

"Gold star for Hanzo!" McCree throws back and Hanzo chuckles.

"Now, remember how I personally didn't make fun of Reinhardt for his music choices in that story I told you yesterday. That was all Lúcio and Hana. This here, my friend, are books that are even older than Reinhardt's favourite music."

Come to think of it, McCree _was_ reading a _book_ , not literature on a tablet like most people would do. Hanzo was weirdly pleased by this. Book were considered relics some places in this day and age, but there were enough people around refusing them to go extinct so to speak and they remained an odd hobby for certain people.

"Morgan Kane?" Hanzo voices out, now close enough to actually being able to read the title on the book.

"Gunslinger hailing from Santa Fe, New Mexico. My hometown." McCree replies, fondness lingering in his voice.

"Came over this here series by total accident. It's set in the middle of the 1800 and even if it's fiction and the main character is a made up guy, it's somewhat based on real events and I found it oddly satisfying to read about how Santa Fe allegedly was like so far back."

Hanzo swallows, he almost wishes he weren't privy to the information McCree has just given him. It only furthered his attraction to the man.

"Of course you can't count on it being too accurate, it was written by a Norwegian author, whom I am unsure of having ever set foot in Santa Fe." McCree continues.

"Norwegian? As in what Torbjörn is?" Hanzo asks before his brain can catch up. McCree laughs.

"In Torbjörn's own words; for the last time, I am Swedish!" he says dramatically.

"Norwegians and Swedes are very alike, but still very different from each other I've heard. You could offend someone, Hanzo." the gunslinger finishes with a stupid grin. Hanzo snorts but can't help the laughter that spills forth right after. They laugh a good solid minute before Tracer asks them through the com system exactly what was so funny.

Hanzo spends the rest of his trip lowkey reading the first book about Morgan Kane on his tablet.


	3. The Shadows That Haunt You

Jesse doesn't see Hanzo for a few days after they arrive back at the watchpoint. Frowning, he briefly wonders if the archer has settled back into his reclusive existence again. That would seriously be a shame, their earlier interactions had been so nice. Genji jogs past him in the hallway a bit later and Jesse yanks him back by the rather colourful hoodie he's wearing. Genji raises his brow in mild accusation but Jesse almost forgets what he was gonna ask, instead giving Genji a once over. His hoodie is bright green, and there's a pink bunny symbol on the front and Korean lett- ah of course. Genji's face morphs into a smile and he poses enthusiastically.

"I got it from Hana! She is releasing a new clothing line in a few days and I get to wear this before everyone else!" he exclaims and gesticulates to his hoodie. It even has bunny ears on the hood- and was that a fluffy tail on the backside?  
Sometimes Jesse has troubles actually believing Genji is a whopping 35 years old, but for some people age is just a number, isn't it?

"Would you like one too, Jesse? I guess I can sweet-talk Hana into giving you one as well, I mean I am that awesome." Genji continues, pretending to scrutinize the nails he doesn't have.

"Thank you kindly, but no thank you. You look cute in it and I'm sure Hana does as well, but on me? Nah, it'd probably look very out of place." He's kinda mortified when the unbidden image of Hanzo in the same sweater drifts through his mind. Fuck, he'd look really cute. He shakes his head to clear the image, luckily Genji is busy preening from his compliment.

"Yes, yes I am!" he says, doing a few poses again. Genji's ego was very easy to stroke, it probably came from the fact that he was very outgoing and social. How did two brothers that grew up together turn out so different?

"Actually I was wondering if you know where Hanzo is at the moment?" he says after clearing his throat. "I recommended him a book on our flight home here from Lijiang and I was just thinking of casually asking him what he thought about it." A lie, but maybe not a lie? It could actually be interesting getting to know what Hanzo thought about Morgan Kane.

"Oh so you are the culprit responsible for Hanzo refusing to train with me for two days in a row?" Genji snorts playfully. "Rest assured he must have loved that book, because no amount of begging from my side could get him to even consider joining me." he huffs. A warm, peculiar feeling settles in Jesse's chest at the cyborg's words.

"But sorry, I digress. Hanzo left for a scouting mission a day ago together with the older Amari and Morrison. He won't be back for about 4 more days still, I think?" he says, poking his own chin thoughtfully.

Jesse's spirits dips down again at hearing that. He wasn't sure why exactly he wanted to seek out the archer _(liar)_ , but now he sorta did? ' _Did you enjoy the first book?'_

"Anyways Jesse, I have to run. Hana and Lúcio are waiting for me. Wanna hit a bar for a couple of beers on Friday if nothing comes up?" He gives Genji a ' _yeah, sure!'_ before the cyborg zips off towards the commons room. With nothing else to do Jesse decides to hit the practice range for a few rounds of shooting before dinner.

Friday comes and Lena flies them over to the mainland for a run to the pub. Genji and Hana are wearing matching hoodies from Hana's collection, while Lúcio has a tank top version of the bright green garment on. All three of them look like excited teens about to go out to town on their own for the very first time.

"It's a shame you declined my offer for a free ' _Love, D .va'_ hoodie, Jesse." Hana says, popping her gum as she poses for a selfie with Genji. "You look more like our chaperone than part of the gang."

"Hey!" he shouts indignantly, readjusting his red flannel shirt. "If you don't watch your tongue, missy, I'm gonna chaperone you guys for real! See where that gets ya!"

Genji laughs and apparently ruins the picture for Hana who slaps his arm before wincing in Jesse's direction.

"Duly noted." she pouts before she winks and they all laugh in unison. A warm feeling settles in Jesse's stomach. It has been a while since he has been out like this with a couple of friends. Overwatch was a mish-mash of different characters from all over, but despite it all they found common ground and solace in each other, even if their existence was a harshly debated one.  
Jesse and Lúcio go straight for the beer, clinking their glasses together as they wait for Genji and Hana to get whatever fizzy and colourful drinks they've ordered to get made.

"I think I'm going to have my own drink made next." Hana says as she joins the table. "I'mma call it; _Bunny Hop!_ "

"I actually had my own drink back in the day in Hanamura." Genji says, taking an elegant sip from his neon green beverage.

"And what was it called? ' _Green-haired Playboy Ninja'_?" Hana throws back laughing.

Jesse swears these kind of things only happens in the movies but Genji's face goes from smug to shocked then amused before he bursts out laughing.

"How the actual fuck!" he yells excitedly. Hana takes a dainty sip from her drink then twirls her hair.

"Internet." she says then laughs as Genji slaps his hand over his eyes mumbling ' _Of course, I'm stupid!'_.

As the evening ebbs out, it leaves Jesse with a warm and fuzzy feeling of contentment. Warm because of his comrades, fuzzy from the beers he's had. Hana and Genji are pouring over the pictures they've racked up throughout the night, Hana squealing in delight over the amount of Like's the first picture they took has accumulated. The one she thought got ruined because Genji started laughing. Lúcio is bopping his head to some tune only he can hear and when Jesse asks, he excitedly reveals that he's got an idea for a new song.  
Lena joins them a with a pint herself at one point and when Hana raises her eyebrow in question she pats her Chronal Accelerator and grins. What Jesse wouldn't give for that. Shitfaced one moment, sober the next.  
They get burgers before they leave for the base, huddling together in the back of the small plane eating while Lúcio plays some of his new tunes for them. A perfect note to end a delightful evening on.

...except, the note is about to be soured.

They've barely landed when the sounds of one of Overwatchs mission jets rattles through the air.  
Jesse looks to Genji who smiles in return, thinking the same thing; Hanzo and the rest of the scouting crew has returned early. Lúcio and Hana trickle inside the base while Jesse and Genji waits for the jet to land. Jesse has to tame his silly grin, not wanting to seem too excited. Genji narrows his eyes suddenly and Jesse's follow his line of sight. The jet seems to be in somewhat of a bad shape. An unsettling feeling blooms in his stomach and he puts a hand on Genji's shoulder.

"Get Angela. Something's not right." he murmurs. Genji zips away almost before Jesse has finished his sentence, heading straight for the good doctor's lab. Jesse's never one for ignoring his instincts. Just as Genji is out of sight the jet opens and Ana Amari jumps out, biotic dart poised readily in her hand. Jack Morrison follows right after, carrying what looks to be an unconscious and beaten Hanzo in his arms. Jesse's blood goes cold. Morrison lays the archer gently down on the concrete and Ana follows up by jamming her biotic dart in Hanzo's thigh, prompting a loud gasp from him. Morrison throws off his visor and sets his eyes on Jesse.

"Angela." he commands.

"Already on her way." Jesse replies short and concise as he rushes forwards to meet them.

Hanzo is in an even worse state than he looked to be from afar. Hair loose and matted, clothes filthy and there's so much blood.

"He got careless." Ana murmurs, applying pressure to Hanzo's right side.

"I told him not to-" Morrison starts, but one stern look from Ana has him shutting his mouth.

"They jammed our coms, that's why we couldn't get in touch. I've done what I can, now it's up to Angela to do the rest." Ana says sternly, motioning to Morrison to take over for her. She wipes her bloodied hands on her trousers and gently strokes Hanzo's forehead.

"Fever." she states grimly. "But he's conscious, this is good."

Angela arrives with Genji whose visor is in place again so Jesse can't read his face. She connects her Caduceus immediately and orders for Hanzo to be moved to her lab. Jesse barely knows what to do with himself. He's not squeamish, he's seen wounded comrades before, he's seen _dead_ comrades before, but now he is truly shaken, for the first time in a long while.

He finds Morrison outside of the lab, leaning against the wall. Other than a thin red line on his cheek, (stray bullet probably), he seems unharmed, as had Ana.

"What happened?" The words are out before he can mull further upon them. Morrison snorts, clearly not impressed with whatever has happened.

"Just as Ana said; he got reckless. Bit over more than he could chew, thought he could take on the whole world apparently."

It really doesn't answer Jesse's question. But he doesn't get to inquire further as Morrison leaves with a ' _Gonna be a lot of paperwork for this one.'_ He spends a few moments, staring solemnly at the door and the sign saying ' _surgery in progress'_ before he decides to leave and go to bed. He knows Hanzo is in capable hands, Angela is the best of the best. But as he lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, he can't for the life of himself get rid of the lump in his throat.

He's not sure when he actually fell asleep, but he wakes in a pool of sweat, heart hammering loudly in his chest as twisted pictures of his comrades bloodied and the sounds of gunshots fades back into the void. It's somewhat early still, the digital clock on his nightstand shines crisp, red 08:09 in his face. He rubs his eyes tiredly. ' _When was the last time he had a nightmare as horrible as this one?'_

Then he remembers Hanzo.

10 minutes is all it takes for him to be showered, dressed and on his way to the Med Bay with two coffees and a bagel in hand. The sign isn't lit anymore and he all but storms Angela's lab, startling the doctor where she sits by her desk, filling out paperwork.

"Jesse!" she scolds, but her face softens as a large coffee and the bagel is shoved in her face. She points to her patient's room, mouth already on the rim of the coffee cup. Jesse forces himself to calm down, Hanzo is alive and well. He enters the room with soft steps, noticing Genji by Hanzo's bed. The archer is asleep, hooked up to iv drips, a strip of bandage woven around his head. Even though he's hurt, he looks peaceful for once. Genji looks up when he enters, his face a grim expression Jesse hasn't seen on him in years. He wants to ask, but Genji is as always faster than him.

"He'll live. No lasting damage."

Jesse lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. He joins the cyborg by the bed, taking notice of the Storm Bow neatly stacked up against the wall. Genji speaks after a few moments of silence.

"My brother still hasn't forgiven himself for what he did." he starts, voice steely.

"I've told him that _I_ have forgiven him and that we need to let the past be the past and work together towards a shared goal, but he keeps insisting on putting his life on the line with his reckless behaviour and for what? A shot at something as elusive as redemption?" he says the last part through gritted teeth.

"' _With every death comes honour, and with honour, redemption.'_ Quote Hanzo. To risk your life for gaining honour, in hopes of that honour leading you to redemption, is nothing short of idiotic." Genji has gotten visibly upset and Jesse longs for patting his back in comfort, but he knows from experience Genji doesn't want comfort when he's like this.

"You'd almost think he has a death wish." he whispers. Jesse's heart twists in his chest.

' _McCree-san, do you ever see the faces of those you have killed in your dreams?'_

He knew Hanzo was a complex person, but he's come to see the man in a new light, and Genji sharing tidbits and observations on his own has made him able to put a few more pieces together for the puzzle.

"I don't know, Genji." he says softly. "There's ah, probably more to it than you think."

Genji sighs defeatedly in response.

"Not going easy on you when you wake up, anija." the cyborg murmurs before he heads out to see Angela.

The room becomes silent with Genji's departure, the only sounds present being Hanzo's soft breathing. Jesse feels as if their little heart-to-heart in Lijiang was a lifetime ago.

"I meant what I said back there." he starts, eyeing the sleeping archer. "That you're not alone, that you can depend on us. Especially Genji, and… me. You should know you can depend on me, if you ever need anything. I uh, know a thing or two about regret and redemption."

He feels vulnerable, having said something so exposing of himself, but what better time to be honest than when your recipient cannot hear you? He shakes his head, laughing silently at his own train of thought. He pulls out a small pocket book from his jeans and puts it on the table by Hanzo's bed.

"Get well soon, archer. I'll lend ya book two in the series cause I suspect you finished the first one already. Please tell me what you think later." he says fondly before he goes to join Genji and Angela in her office.


End file.
